Unrequited Love Essay Example for Free

Unrequited Love Essay Everyone eventually meets the man or woman of their dreams. Whether it’s online or in your local grocery store, everyone is bound to meet their perfect match. According to Harville Hendrix, the author of the article The Mystery of Attraction, he mentions that there are three theories that he has noticed or have looked more into and he also has his own theory. The three theories that he mentions are as follows: biological theory, exchange theory, and the persona theory. When it comes to his own theory, Hendrix states that of the conscious theory. Although Hendrix provides in depth detail of the three theories, I do not agree in those theories and therefore believe in Hendrix’ own theory. The first theory that Hendrix describes is that of the biological theory, which means that women select men who are that of â€Å"alpha† qualities. They choose men who will provide for their future family or supply themselves with nourishment. Society makes men feel that they have all the weight on their shoulders and men are made to fulfill the manly duties. When I look for certain men, I choose men that have an attractive personality. Some people just choose the looks, but I focus more on the way he portrays himself in front of me and other people. My dating experience has been bumpy and slow these past years. I have only had one boyfriend and have learned nothing. As everyone always says that you always find your soul mate in college, I believe that to be true. As I have not found one yet, I still believe in that opinion. As I see everyone else going out with their boyfriends/girlfriends, it makes me feel sad. I was never much of a social person when it comes to meeting other people. Therefore, I do not agree with this theory because I believe that it is not all about choosing your mate on their physical traits, but more on their personality. The second theory Hendrix explains in detail is that of the exchange theory. He clarifies that the selection of our mates is determined by the equivalence of our choices. We focus more on the physical appearance rather than the personality he/she portrays. I have noticed that a lot in my eighteen years of life. A lot of my former friends and classmates would say, â€Å"Oh, he/she is hot, I am going to go for him/her! † They already pick out their â€Å"future† boyfriend/girlfriend at first sight. They try to get that guy/girl as close as to themselves as they can! Some go to extreme measures like the story my friend told me. This story was about a guy who carefully picked out his girlfriend on the beautiful qualities she possessed. He was dumbfounded on the perfect qualities she portrayed when they hung out. As he got to know her more, she was not as what she seemed to be. He realized that the beauty she possessed on the outside was not as pretty on the inside. She acted very horribly to him and treated him like he was garbage. After that, he focused more on the personality of a girl, rather than the beauty. Going off that story, I disagree with the exchange theory because if you go off this theory, it will lead to the destruction of love. The third and final theory that Hendrix concludes with is that of the persona theory. This theory states that whoever your mate is they should boost up your self-esteem when you are seen with this person. A persona, which is a second image we portray to other people, comes in effect when we are with our soul mate. We act a certain way around our boyfriend/girlfriend, but when we are around other people or in public, we tend to have a second personality towards them. It is sort of like a two faced person. Society likes to see an all-around good person in public. They do not like to see a person who is contradictory towards themself. Not being yourself is making yourself seem that you are not confident with your self-esteem and want to become this sort of person. Concluding with the final theory, I disagree with this theory because you are not supposed to be a second person around society but not portray the same self that you usually do around your boyfriend/girlfriend. Hendrix states 3 theories that do not seem to work. His own theory, the conscious theory, seems to go along to what seems to be the personality of the person, rather than the looks. Seeing my friends getting asked to prom and homecoming throughout my high school career was brutal. Always seeing them happy and having so much fun every time was horrible. Always being the third wheel was terrifying. Everyone experiences this sometime in their life, whether it is towards themselves or seeing it on television or in society. The internet is also a good way a person can meet their partner. It is so much easier online because you can pick out a guy that suits your specific needs. It will minimize to an amount that is perfect for viewing and you can even go on dates! It really gets you to know the guy without the looks, but focusing on the personality. The article states the theories that Hendrix explains are that of the biological, exchange and persona theories. He states that he observed the relationships between others and came up with these 3 theories. Even though I disagree with these 3 theories, I know I believe in the theory that Hendrix came up with on his own, which is the conscious theory. He says that people should not focus on the looks of the person, but rather the personality that the person possesses. I agree with Hendrix’s theory because your decision should not be based on the looks but more of the personality because it could go wrong in the end. In conclusion, the conscious theory is more of a better decision.